Self Portrait: Collodion & DNA

I have a couple of really important goals that I want to accomplish in the next few months. One of them is to make work for my project, exhibition and book.

I thought I would get creative with my time and my commitments. We are leaving Thursday for ten days and wanted to post the October Video Podcast on Chemical Pictures before we left. I also had an image in mind that I've wanted to make for a few weeks. I thought, why not make a few plates, create an image for my project and cover the podcast, too? So that's what I did today.

These image are about numbers, labeling, skulls & sockets, history, evilness, genetics and otherness. I distressed plate #3 a little bit. I varnished it shortly after making this copy and it cleaned up quite a bit - I was a little disappointed about that but I still like the image. I look so different in each image, it trips me out a wee bit.

It took four plates to get two that I really like.

"Self Portrait #3 - Jewish DNA" - 8"x10" Alumitype - Viernheim, Germany 2009 
Self Portrait #1 With Y-DNA Sequence Backwards (written by hand)

Today is Yom HaShoah

Yom HaShoah is a day of remembrance for the six million Jewish people who died in the Holocaust, and a range of events take place. In Israel, it is a national memorial day. On the evening beforehand, there is a state ceremony at the Holocaust Martyrs' and Heroes Authority, Yad Vashem. At 10am on the day of Yom HaShoah, air-raid sirens are sounded and people stop what they are doing to think of and pay respect to those who died. Places of public entertainment are closed and flags on public buildings are flown at half mast.

Jews who were classified as "not fit to work" waiting in a grove outside Crematorium IV before they were to be gassed.

186 Steps in the "Stairs of Death" in the Mauthausen Quarry

The Mauthausen concentration camp was a Class III camp where prisoners classified as "Return undesired" were sent. It was a punishment camp where the inmates had to do hard time in a granite rock quarry. Those on the punishment detail had to carry granite boulders up steep stairs on their backs – the stairs are known as “The Stairs of Death”.

There is a sign (in German) at the bottom of the stairs that reads:

Here worked prisoners of various nationalities. With disregard of even the most primitive safety precautions, and with complete brutality, extreme work performance was demanded of the prisoners.

Here one had the best possibility to liquidate prisoners in the fastest manner. With a boulder weighing often up to 50 kg on the shoulder, while being forced to run through the quarry under constant beatings, the victim soon collapsed only to die in some corner unaided. (thanks Elke).

This leads into the quarry. You can see the distorted Menorah at the top quarry. This is where the camp is – to the left, is where I made the plate below. 
     "186 Steps of Death" - Mathausen Death Camp - 8"x10" Black Glass Ambrotype      

Mauthausen is a beautiful area, this absurd and evil thing takes all of that beauty away for me.

This was even more disturbing than Dachau in some ways. Being worked to death and used for profit adds a dimension of evil that exceeds simple execution. Don’t get me wrong, we walked through the gas chambers here and saw the table where they removed skin with tattoos and gold teeth, too. There were several places where they murdered the victims, hanged them, shot them, gassed them, and tortured them. Mauthausen has it all and then some. I will never look at granite the same way again in my life.

I didn’t make any photos inside the concentration camp. Only this 8x10 wet plate in the quarry and the color digital images outside of the camp.

Tracks Headed East

A sense of urgency overtook me today and I was able to get a couple of important photographs made. I'm exhausted right now, but elated. While I call everything an experiment, it's not exactly true. For now, however, I'm calling the work experimental.

The "train tracks" image below is something I've been meaning to try for a while. Most all of the tracks here were used, at least in some part, to transport Jews and other undesirables to either bigger train stations or directly to the concentration camps. My friend, Caron, mentioned that I should look at making some images like this - I couldn't agree more.

The feeling I get when I look at this empty, quiet image is one of anxiety. I'm waiting for a train to rip through this space headed east (the direction of this image) with cars full of people going to their death. Although, it doesn't look like it, I was very close to the tracks. It made me a little bit nervous. I shot this with my new (old) CC Harrison portrait lens - wide open - what a neo-pictorialist, huh? I was lucky to find a spot where I had access to the tracks (and schlep all of my Scheise to it). Sometimes, it's difficult doing these kinds of things. I was thinking about how I would probably be arrested in the United States for doing this... you know the whole terrorist scare thing. No one was around when I made the images. It was out of the way and "in between" towns.

"Train Tracks Headed East - Bahnhof Ahead" - 29 March 2008 - 1305 - 10x8 Black Glass Ambrotype (destroyed) - Southwestern Germany (quiet countryside). 
I'm going to keep making images of memorials, tracks, and portraits (and whatever else strikes me). I'm also going to explore making images of smokestacks. All of these symbols are very powerful to me. I have no idea how all of this is translating, or will translate, but I'll keep making images, thinking out loud, writing my thoughts and ideas down and hopefully, someday put it all together.

Viernheim Synagogue Memorial & Some Project Thoughts

I can only imagine what goes through the minds of the people watching as I make photographs in the small towns and villages here.

This morning I went out to re-photograph the Synagogue memorial in the village I live in, Viernheim. They moved the memorial (I call them gravestones - they always seem to be weeping) a couple of months ago. They also included a little sitting area and bench. It's actually a lot better.

As I setup and made preparations to make a plate, several people walked by and stared - I mean stared! One old German man, maybe 70 years-old, or more, almost tripped, as he was walking by staring. He wasn't watching where he was going. I said, "Achtung, Baby!" - I wonder if he got the reference to the U2 album, probably not.

I don't mind people watching. I'm a voyeur by profession and passion. The thing that I don't is like not knowing if they're just interested, or if they're thinking, "I would prefer that this guy go away." It feels like the latter, but I'm hopeful that it's the former.

The photograph I made this morning is gone. It made me sick, but I wiped it from the plate. This is the only "evidence" that remains of the Ambrotype. What if I made this whole project like that? What if there were no plates in the entire project, only non-tangible (digital) representations? It would be a lot like the subject matter, no?

A friend/colleague emailed me the other day asked me about my thoughts on impermanence, or ephemeral art. He's working on his M.F.A. and doing some really interesting things with chalk-screen transfers. His images are only there for a short time on a chalkboard - this theme has been explored by a lot of artists, but it keeps coming back to me, time and time again. It feels like I'm not listening.

Just as the Synagogues and people were "wiped away", I think that this method may serve the project well. I first thought about breaking the glass, destroying the images, or having Germans do that in a performance. After some thought, I decided no, that's too much. However, wiping these images  from the plates, and maybe even keeping the Collodion I wipe off as residue may be the answer I've been looking for.

You have to remember, these images are extremely beautiful when you're holding them in your hand. They're a "precious artifact" in a lot of ways.  They're also a lot of work to make - a big investment in many ways -  time, money, effort, etc. So destroying them and only keeping (digital) representations creates a sense of loss for me - a lot like how I feel when I see (memorials) representations of these beautiful Synagogues (and people) that were destroyed.

I'm going to seriously explore this some more. Right now, in this moment, I feel very strongly about it.

"Destroyed Synagogue Memorial With Apartments and Playground" 8x10 Black Glass Ambrotype - 29 March 2009 - 0923, Viernheim, Germany (I flipped this positive so you can read the text) 
Notes: The memorials seem to be "weeping" every time I photograph them. The background (apartment buildings, trees, playground, etc.) appear as a painting or drawing, unreal, if you will. The gravestone seems to be emerging from a black earth - terrible and foreboding.